We've graduated high school and now we're starting a new phase; college. Or university, whichever. We still have a bridge to cross though, called pre-u. I… cannot believe how much I'm stressing over deciding where to go what to do. Maybe it's just me but a lot of my classmates seem to be calmer than I am, in a sense that, they don't freak out as much as I do. And that got me thinking if maybe I'm getting over-excited over this.
Am I? I must be, cause… i dunno.
I think I am.
Am I getting way ahead of myself?
I have this weird desire that keeps getting stronger, it's making me gain hope of getting accepted to places that I know are well beyond my league. My academics are average, my co-curricular scores are average, I have a pretty much hidden personality, I have never done anything like volunteer work or things like that… There's no way I'll get accepted. I could but chances are I wouldn't.
And I feel disappointed because I am putting so much hope of having a life-changing experience in college. Yeah big word, life-changing. To me personally I don't think college of just a place to get my credentials that would help me land a good job. I want to explore myself in college. I don't know if it's correct for me to assume this but I think college would offer me a more spiritual experience, discovering what I can do what I can't do what I like who I am, so many things that would help me grow into the adult that I want to be.
It's actually one of the main reasons I want to study overseas. Not that I am underestimating local institutions, a lot of our local universities are really good. I just think that, if I go to a local university I would sort of "settle down" in a very familiar environment, I wouldn't challenge myself, I would just dissolve into the background like I always do. If I force myself to go into a completely different and more importantly diverse environment, I gain a million different perspectives in a million different issues and topics. I could try and understand why the world is how it is and how it was. I could donate a piece of my mind even to make an actual change in how the world is run.
Plus, when else would I get the chance to travel? Once I graduate, there is no guarantee of what life would be like. I want college to be a fulfilling experience. I want it to be the start of a fulfilling life. Maybe I am naive to think this, maybe not. I have no idea what life in college would be like, but I'm hoping it'd be great.
Pray for me :)
Pray for all of us.
In fact, pray for everything. That's better, right?
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