Hah. Had a conversation with a friend the other day, about relationships and the importance of sex (I guess u can call it that lol) and this is basically how it went down:
Disclaimer: This is only my part of the conversation.
"Idk. I just wanna love someone till it hurts but not in a way it makes me sad or something like that. It hurts cause I love that person so much I don't want to lose him. It hurts cause I care so much about him and the thought of him not being by my side would never cross my mind. And if that person is willing to let someone go cause their sex drive is not the same, then he doesn't love her as much as he thought. You could communicate. There must be a reason why a person doesn't want it right? Timing? Practise? If she loves him so much, she would do it. They would find time. And if they do really love each other, they would have that lust for each other anyway. Idk, for him to let her go because of that, for me, is very sad. What happen to till death do us part and in sickness or in health? Empty vows? Idk. People fall out of love. I know, I understand. But when they are in love, I wished that they loved each other so much that nothing can get though."
"If we love each other so much, just get married. Simple. He can do what ever he wants. Usually people think like oh marriage, gonna have kids and stuff but that all can wait till they are stable enough. I just don't understand why on earth would a guy not marry the girl he think is The One."
"But then again, people say it's just sex right."
"if they do love each other they should and will have that lust for each other. So I would agree on your first statement [which is that if people don't lust for each other before marriage, then it would be the same after], but I guess, then, it's more about control and patience. I have loved a guy for 7 years. So I know how frustrating it is to want more. But I think it makes the sex more special you know. It's like the feeling when they say their vows or like the first time they hold their baby and feel like they could see the whole world in that baby. So they have to build a relationship that goes in that direction. Not like haha I just want someone to care for me but to love some so passionately. He could kiss me, hold me and stuff like that, I wouldn't mind. I think at that point, they should have already know if this person is the one or not. They have been through so much, they must of know what they want. So then just put a ring on it. As for the girl, she can't be a ***** about it too though. Like leading people around and in the end just let go. Plus, what would happen if i got into an accident and sex was out of the option? I gave him something more precious to me than my v card. I gave him my heart and cause I couldn't have sex with him, he just decides to shove it back to me and leaves. Just cause he 'can't take it anymore'. **** him man."
"Plus, okay probably it's just me but I am sorta kinda possessive but not in a way I'll be crazy jealous or anything. Sure probably pout here and there but cause I know he loves me, I wouldn't mind so much."
So yeah, learnt so much about myself that day. I don't know. I guess am the type of person who bundle up sex, love, trust and marriage together. And I guess another question I should ask when we had the conversation is "why would u want to have the sex in the first place?" because for me, I want to have it exclusively for my forever and always. It would be a sign that I gave you everything. No more secrets, No more holding back, No more waiting. I entrust you with my heart and happiness. You would be my warmth and I would be yours. but then again,
"maybe I am living in a fantasy world hahahahaha".
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