Definitely not as easy as ABC.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I'm less than 16 hours away from my final exam. It is the paper that I hate the most, RKA.
Dont get me wrong, I love the subject but the thought on testing my whole knowledge and understanding on some several questions, that turned me off. I'm so scared and nervous right now.


Anyway, thats not why I write.

Today, I'd like to write about Acceptance.

As I embarked (had to google translate that word LOL) my journey on college, I found that it was hard for me to cope with every thing. I also felt like every decision I made and every action I took was wrong and I felt so miserable. I couldnt adapt to the new surrounding as smooth as I hope. So I yet again, took another wrong action, which was I became dependent on you guys. Remember I used to text you alot, called you a few times compared to now, I used to rant a lot and whatsoever, it is because I now realized, I depend on the wrong person.

I shouldve turn to Him instead. I shouldve seek for Allah. But I was wrong. I was dumb. Not to say that I'm not now, but I hope my dumbness has lessened :D hahaha. But really. I'm sorry I bother you too much. No doubt Ive made you feel uncomfortable and irritated and also annoyed a few times bcs of my endless selfies (that one, I dont know if I'd be able to stop, soon alright? Baby steps plis hehe) so I'd like to apologize for that. I'm sorry. I shouldve known better that theres a fine line between best friend and psychologist. Lol. So yeah. And yes, I hope you guys are doing okay too. I mean, much more excellent than me right now. Haha.

Another one would be, I've now realized that everyone of us has changed, and yes while changes are nothing to be worried about as it is normal but it can be a bit troublesome if we failed to see eye to eye anymore. Taking me as example, I now realized that I just wanted to start afresh and not looking back at the past. I used to run away from my problems, walking away from people's lives when Ive had enough, but that, that is so wrong at so many levels. I dont want to be that person anymore. I dont want to be self-centered anymore. I dont want to be snappy anymore. I dont want to be selfish anymore. I dont want to be who I was anymore. I want to be for the better. Most importantly, I dont want to be that person who took granted of her beloved person anymore. I dont want her.

Thus. I hope the me you're meeting next time is a better version of me. Im really hoping on that. Wallahi I love you. Lillahita'ala insya-Allah. Pray for my wealth of health and knowledge will ya? Thanks x

Assalamualaikum.

Love, book

A long story short

Okay so, i wanted to post a very exciting news about me a few days ago, like from early last week. However, it seems that all my procrastination has left me with a pile of assignments that is due in 48 hours. Hence, the post was never type into any device and didn't make it to the blog.

Although, now, i believe that Allah really had planned everything cause I am glad that I didn't post it.

Okay. there is lots to talk about and I will blabber all I can here. I do realise that the video of Harry has not been posted and the other video had some problem occasionally as well. Meh. sorry guys. I'll just show u guys on October.

Ah, there is another important news I need to tell u guys. Unfortunately, I have to say that there is a possibility that I won't be traveling back to Malaysia once I finish my foundation. My parents are planning to come over to Australia and visit me instead. Sorry about that. I have to say that no matter what, I believe that the gathering should continue as planned even without me. Just go. Even though the glue is not there but the bond between u guys is still as strong as before right? As for the annual events we do, just proceed. Talk about that later in detail.

Okay next one. I had a presentation which I did last minute (like seriously, a few hours are not enough lesson learnt =_=) So I freak that one up. so idk. my parents are not satisfied from what I got for my mid semester report. Can't get my brain in tune this semester. Horrible.

Ah, about the exciting post. hm.. (to the person in BNE please keep it and don't tell anyone kay. I trust u. okayy????? so yeah please.) well, (still not sure about posting this but whatthefreak right. I believe in u guys) I realise that i like someone. like seriously guys this is like on the same level as the 7 year old dude =____= so i was kinda excited about that but then I know that that person likes someone else though. well idk. His answer was freaking vague man. idk. told someone my friends here but then they were saying that no, this person has a probability of reciprocating the feeling so dont give up plus I think that he kinda likes u. Dear friends, please Ya Allah. I really don't want what it to happen like the 7 years old guys again man. Freaking hell why wont u just freaking tell whether u like her or not.  Any way, idk what to do. I am currently running way from him. if he is in the com lab, I will for sure to go to the other one.

okay enough about that. yesterday was a wonderful day and I really wished it never stopped. It was one of the mentor's early celebration. went to skyzone trampoline. It was totally awesome! want to stay longer and try different tricks but sokay. thanks for the experience :) oh i sprained my ankle btw ahahahahahahah the first time i use the trampoline, I didnt realise that it was that bouncy. so, we went to the first section and i jump for a while to get use to the feeling of it. Then when I was gonna try a trick, I had a bad landing. I heard it click ahahhhaha. It burn like hell man at that time. so, it took a while for the pain to subside but i just kept playing hahahhhahahahahha. so stubborn. know ur limit man but i had no regrets. case after like a few sec rest, I started to jump again and i think that helped me to get use to the pain. after the first one, we went on to play a basketball and dodge ball. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE this place man. then we went off to go bowl and watch movie later. wish i could tell u guys but what happens that time stays at that time.  I want o do it againnnnn pleaseeee

tell u guys in detail when ever i can:)

xoxo cookie

I'm scared.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum.

Things has been intense this last few weeks. Ever since I started using my SPlanner (an organizer apps) religiously, I can see that in every week I have a deadline and events to catch on to. And to tell you the truth, it's getting harder to catch up. So far, I've been lucky. Alhamdulillah.

So how are you people? Mentally? Physically?
I'm fine on both alhamdulillah, tho they're both are a bit tired hahaha. I experienced a bit of sneezing and coughing yesterday which made me feel like I caught a fever, but alhamdulillah I'm not experiencing anything severe for today. Just that, my hands cannot stop shaking from last Sunday. My right hand especially. Still figuring it out what's the cause of it. Pray for my health please, thank you. I'll make du'a for you too. Huhu.

Well on the mental side, I just figured out that I'm having a depression. Maybe because of my learning stage (I am unfortunately a beginner, still) on managing my time and being disciplined and punctual, things like that. Haha. Takpelah, better belajar sekarang daripada time kerja nanti. Lol

Hahaha. I just noticed from the beginning of my writing all I talk is about me. Sorry I bored you. Well um. I dont really have anything to write, but God knows I have a lot to talk about.

I am now experiencing a major financial problem; I just cant stop spending money on food. So bad and so fat. Help me. I dont want to waste my money away JUST on food. I could've actually saved up and treat my family or go to a vacation instead. But I just cant stop spending. Gosh.

Okay one thing I noticed, whenever I typed it makes my hand feels a lot better since I cant feel its shaking but I do feel that its movement is more rapid than ever like my hand is as light as a feather lol not really like a feather but yeah lighter than usual. Oh my God. Is this normal? I'm so scared.

Love, book

A change of tune

okay guys. I think that this blog is getting more and more emotional. Let's change the channel for a while and see the upsides of what has been happening lately.

My friend's birthday was on the 23th August XXXX and I had decided to make a little surprise for her at home when she wakes up. So, I designed a birthday card for her, blew some balloons up and scattered post it notes around the house (show u some of the notes).

Yeah.... she didn't expect it at all cause she thought it would be a normal "hey happy birthday" day for her  buttttttt when she opened the door she was so surprised. She got  the birthday card that I asked everyone to sign, saw the post it notes which made her smiled and a big brunch with all the homestay family. She had high tea and a night celebration on her XXth birthday that day too.

Other than that, been spoiling and hanging around Harry these past few days. He's soooo cutteeee. Just look at ittt *cuteness overloadddd*

*vid here, removed as it couldn't load anymore*

*sigh* well since the video is taking like a million years to upload, I'll just upload one but heck,  can still see how cute this furball is!

Oh yeah, I also went to this annual event/festival thing they held each year here called EKKA. That was awesome. We eat ice cream (craving for some now), got onto several rides and chill on the grass while talking. It was a day I wished never end :) 

Didn't take a lot of food pictures cause I obviously went there for all the adrenaline rides. Ah, talking about the rides, some of it was suppppperrrrrrr expensive. Like wahlao. want to take all my money man. (heh. talk so much but in the end went to several rides anyway #gonnabebrokeforawhile) Oh, but the strawberry ice cream was to die forrrrrrrr love it so much <3 Here a bonus vid from one of the rides :)

*vid here, removed as it couldn't load anymore*

ohhhhh yeahhhhhhhh adranaline rushhhh. Now i remember! I went to movie world the other day. THAT. WAS. AWESOME. We should all go and hog all the seats of the rides. That would be funny ahahaahahaha. It was superb amazeballs guys. Thankfully we manage to go on all the rides (well technically cause some of them was closed so we can't ride those). The Asylum one was crazy! That was ,hands down, the winner of that day. After that, we went on and had a sleepover at the family's house. That was crazy awesome too. Foods, games and loadssss of interesting stuff happen *smirks* Wish I could say what happens but like us, everything that happens behind doors, stays behind doors :) The morning after, went and have breakfast (Vietnam noodle ssooooo goooddd :9 ) then off to EKKA

What else? I guess the rest have been filled with hanging out with several different people and trying to get my studies back on track. Oh, I went and had lunch with some of my friends and had an amazing thai food. omg. food here so good (except nasi lemak) no wonder I gained weight so fast here hahahahhahahahahaha next time we are planning to go to a korean restaurant. supperrr excited for that <3 

hmmm yup good times. Wish you guys are here. It would be awesome to have all of us here. We can rent apartments to stay in or if u guys are studying here too, a house (just squish everyone in hahahahahahha). but, nvm. october. I'll be back and u guys will be back (most of u i guess cause some of u will be having exams at that time). So we can hang. till then, stay strong, keep that smile and walk like you don't care. 

xoxo

Cookie

"The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted."

In reply to the previous post,

 

 Love, book

Back.

*exhale slowly*

It has been about 4-5 months since I been gone. A lot of things happens and a lot of things don't. I manage to realise that my eyes we blurred so bad until I crumbled into a million pieces. I was beating myself up till I manage to convince myself that I deserve it even though I don't. 

I don't know how to express myself and no one can make me talk like how u guys do.

Okay. No more sad story no more beating myself up.

Main point here:

• I was too hard on myself. 
• I were many opportunity for me to do better but I was stupid enough to let it go. 
• I realise that all that now and I'm not gonna stay there lying on the ground beating myself up. 
• Cookie is back and planning stay.

Kkay. Stay tuned.

How long do I have to do this again?

Aku ambik alih tugas lap habuk jap.

Jadi kita semua setuju taip dalam bahasa kan, biar kawan cookie tak tahu nak baca muahahha. Walaupun book tau benda ni tak tahan lama, tapi takpe, usaha tu penting.

Wow rasa pelik gila taip dalam bahasa. Serius. Rasa macam biadap gila sebab bila nak taip menggunakan bahasa sinis rasa macam orang jahat sangat hahahahha.

Takde benda pun nak taip sebenarnya. Rindu nak baca korang tulis sesuatu kat blog ni, tu je. Oh booty tk tulis apa apa pun, dah lama dah hm. Apa apa pun, book memang tertunggu tunggu bulan 10. Semoga Allah permudahkan, aaminnn. Haih. Rindu semua xx

Love, book