James TW: When You Love Someone

Come home early after class
Don't be hanging 'round the back of the schoolyard
I've been called up by a teacher
She says she can't even reach you 'cause you're so far
You've been talking with your fist
We didn't raise you up like this, now did we
There have been changes in this house
Things that you don't know about in this family

It don't make sense, but nevertheless
You gotta believe us, it's all for the best
It don't make sense
The way things go
Son you should know

Sometimes moms and dads fall out of love
Sometimes two homes are better than one
Some things you can't tell your sister 'cause she's still too young
Yeah you'll understand
When you love someone

There ain't no one here to blame
Nothing's going to change with your old friends
Your room will stay the same
'Cause you'll only be away on the weekends

It don't make sense but nevertheless
You gotta believe us, it's all for the best
It don't make sense
It don't add up
We'll always love you no matter what

Sometimes moms and dads fall out of love
Sometimes two homes are better than one
Some things you can't tell your sister 'cause she's still too young
Yeah you'll understand
When you love someone
When you love someone

Come home early after class
Don't be hanging 'round the back of the schoolyard
And if we're crying on the couch
Don't let it freak you out
This has been so hard

Sometimes moms and dads fall out of love
Sometimes the best intentions just ain't enough
Some things you can't tell your sister 'cause she's still too young
Yeah you'll understand
When you love someone
When you love someone
When you love someone
When you love someone

jumbles and shambles

There are so many things I want to say. To share. To voice out.
But it's all stuck at my throat.

There are so many things I see, I experience.
I'd leap to my feet, grabbed my phone but as I type,
I stopped.

I'm not sure how you would react.
How I should react after.
So many possibilities, so many outcome.

But the worst case stuck with us
and I pressed delete.

I say I trust you but why can't I press send?

You are whom I trust most
but you are also the person that cares about me most.

The possibility of losing a place where where I could run to,
terrifies me.
But then why am I the one running away?

Layer by layer,
I wrap myself with bubble wrap
to protect me yet at the same time,
I'm suffocating myself

I was walking one day
and when I finally stopped and look around,
and would I ask myself,
Where am I? How did I get here?
but the only answer I heard
was just the echoes in my head.

cookie

Something over and beyond

How willing are you to hand another person something you regard as important?
How much trust does one need to be able to hold such things?

Buried behind layers of broken pieces, trying to protect what's left
Something so fragile that one might assume that, just by touching, it could possibly break it

cookie

Sixx:A.M. Life is beautiful

There is nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home...

You can't quit until you try

You can't live until you die

You can't learn to tell the truth

Until you learn to lie

You can't breathe until you choke

You gotta laugh when you're the joke

There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful.

Will you swear on your life,

That no one will cry at my funeral?

I know some things that you don't

I've done things that you won't 

There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home

I was waiting for my hearse

What came next was so much worse

It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful.

Will you swear on your life,

That no one will cry at my funeral?

Alive...

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful.

Will you swear on your life,

That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful.

Will you swear on your life,

That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes

Just open your eyes

And see that life is beautiful.

Will you swear on your life,

That no one will cry at my funeral?

When you lost it all, that's when u finally realise: that life... is beautiful

Through the lowest part of my life, this song had motivate me to drag myself to keep going forward. I don't know how much it could help you guys but I just thought of sharing it with you. Even now, when I feel like I really can't go on anymore, I listen to this song. Seems taboo, I know, but it works for me. Didn't mean to offend anyone.

Through the rough times, remember that Allah will never give His servant something he cannot bear. If He believes that you could get through this, have a little faith and trust yourself to keep moving forward. He is fair. Remember to be grateful, remember to be compassionate, remember to be patient. Good will come to those who wait (teehee Tangled ref. which btw was quoted from Violet Fane, 1892).

The most important thing to remember is that, in hardships, there is no one in this whole universe that could change the circumstance except you, yourself. People around you could only guide, lead and support but the changes; reaching out, crawling/running to the better place, understanding yourself, forgiving yourself, letting yourself to heal, these things you have to do it. I won't lie. While your trying to fix your self, there are people who will beat your already broken self down.There will be times where when you need people the most but they weren't there. It's okay. That's life. Don't give up on them, they might be the only one that stays. You will get scratched and bruised but at the end, after all the suffocation, you will finally be able to breath a new life. It's won't be dark there anymore. It won't be cold. Although, like everything else in life, this process will have a side effect. You will be left with scars and wounds that would never truly be gone. Your mind thinks in different ways. You learn to control yourself but you also lose some of yourself. You are no longer the broken one, you are a survivor.

Remember the pain that you've gone through and be kind, be loving; because we never know what sort of life the person walking pass by you had been through.

Cookie

These are some of my thoughts..

1. What am I trying to say here?

2. I could be dead right now.

3. Are you guys okay?

4. I should be studying.

5. I don't think we could survive in the real world.

6. I regret so much.

7. I figured out my favorite color after 19 years of living.

8. People around me are growing up in all the wrong ways.

9. Do I really want it back?

10. I won't always be lonely, but I will always be alone. 

11. I won't always be alone, but I will always be lonely.

12. I have so much love to give.

13. Don't.

14. Nobody will know what really happened.

15. I wonder how old that photo is.

16. I just bought a skateboard.

17. I can never go back to being normal.

18. I am no less than evil.

19. I crave salvation but I refuse to take it, every single time.

20. I bathe myself in lust to keep myself from grabbing the knife.

21. I can't love.

22. I have kittens running around outside my house.

23. I need to fix my posture.

24. How many more years?

25. They still haven't realized how messed up things are.

26. Non of my friends know how serious things are.

27. No fear of death will be the death of me.

28. I don't look at the sky that much anymore even though I want to.

29. My sister gave me a giraffe key chain.

30. Tears are a luxury.

31. I am always waiting for things to fall apart. 

32. My teeth.

33. I want money.

34. I'm more free.

35. I'm more materialistic.

36. Will my past effort help me when I need it?

37. I'm counting down the days to say bye.

38. Those important to me will never know the true extent of my love for them.

39. I want to pierce my cartilage.

40. I'm wasting my days.

41. I'm sad that nobody will know what I actually am.

42. The twins make me happy.

43. How can I travel further?

44. I will burn in hell.

45. I am afraid.

46. Blackbear is really good.

47. People will die and I will regret everything.

48. Forever goes a long way.

49. Fuck.

50. I don't know who I am anymore.

51. I am completely happy :)

H State

It might be the hormone talking

but who would've passed the chance on meeting a nice guy, right?




It's funny how you've mentioned the word "sex drive".
To me, that is the key of relationship. Depends on how you control it though. To Malays, the word is a bit sensitive as it is a taboo issue among us that is never actually being discussed openly.

But yes, to be able to love someone, you must've felt it along the way. And how nice it must've been to know that the feeling is mutually shared.

How nice it must've been to be able to cuddle with someone who loves you,
How nice it must've been to be able to laugh with someone who loves you,
How nice it must've been to be able to play house with someone who loves you,
How nice it must've been to be able to kiss with someone who loves you,

How nice it must've been to be able to be doing it passionately, with someone who loves you.

Yes, there's the prospect of you and him falling out,
Yes, there's the prospect of you and him fighting over nothing- or everything,
Yes, there's the prospect of you and him ended-up divorcing,

But wouldn't it all be worth it in the end?
To be able to experience it, at least to know what and how it feels like- rather than being kept in the dark for years longing for it?

At least you've known.




But even I, am writing this with a heavy heart.

Is it all worth it?
Lord knows I know it's not. Explains my years of being alone.
I'm sorry if it's the same with you too.

Just know that
it's okay to be afraid.

It's okay to not be brave
sometimes you just have to take the plunge- and jump.

Love,

Book