Assalammualaikum lil boxes. I miss all of u so much and it feels different here without all the people I care and held dear in my petite heart. It seems that Aida have reached the limit of her sanity in the absence of her mobile phone while I was not here. xD regardless i still love ya.
So, u seemed eager to hear how I have been doing these few weeks. Well, the weather is the same as Malaysia....
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That was an unfinished draft I had written a few weeks ago. Why had I only ended there? Why didn't I post it? Well, partly because I don't know what to write and I felt as if it was not entirely from my heart. I was not ready yet at the moment i guess.
I'm writing here today cause I finally have a day that I decided to be a completely couch potato. Nesting more fat in my stomach and leaving an aggregate load of homework on my table to collect dust. I'm in the living room now, sitting on a chair, typing while hugging my left leg close, eating nutella from a knife (table knife ofc) and listening to my Michael Buble track.
Are you here with me yet?
I'm feeling very content at this moment of time. There are ,of course, a considerable amount of obstacle that should hinder me from feeling happy and content but I had decided to not let those feeling narrow my vision from seeing the bigger picture where it shows that there are actually good things that happen to me and I'm grateful that those things are in my life as well.
Missing my friends, my family and the environment I was in while in Malaysia. Feeling like a total gijin at time and just so empty. I fail and I fall but I just have to talk to myself, encourage myself that everything is okay, there have got to be something better around that boulder that's stopping you. You have got to stand up. Patience is the key.
So, it's okay to cry; to throw a tantrum like a 5 year old cause let's just face it. We are not strong. However, just as Kelly Clarkson had said before in her song, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. We can't wait, sometimes, for a hand to reach out to us in order to get back on your feet. We, ourselves, have to bush off those little dust of misery and pat our selves while saying you are going to be fine.
Nevertheless, we are humans. Know that there are people who love you for you and don't be afraid to lean onto their shoulder. Keeping it to yourself will destroy you from the inside; spreading like a virus from your mental state to your physical state. Pick up that mobile phone or go knock on that someone's door and cry. Break down and bawl your heart out. I'm sorry cause I can't be there for you guys but know that I support you MKKs, Otromeru, Dynamic Girls (hopefully you guys have't forgotten this) and last but surely not least my betistil selfie partner. My soul is there with you. Catching your every tear you shed. Love you people okay and I believe that you guys will find a way to walk around every boulder that's in your way.
Please don't think that you will disturb me if you call and please, please, please don't think that the feeling that's causing you misery should be nothing compared to what others are feeling cause your feeling matters and if that's how your feeling, I'm always here to hear you out. So, please don't hide and runway. I'm here.
xoxo,
Cookie
