Love, Book.

I'm learning to be more, connected with myself.

I'm learning to see things from perspectives.

I'm learning to love myself more.

I'm learning to appreciate me more. I'm learning not to let others evaluation on me to overshadow my worth.

I'm learning to cherish those who love me more. I'm learning to not be affected by simple things.

I'm learning to let go.

I'm learning to be strong. Stronger than before.

I'm learning to get rid of the bad habits even though old habits die hard, but I'm willing to try. I want to. I want to never stop learning on how to.

I'm learning to prioritize my responsibilities.
As a servant to Allah and a caliph to the world,
As a daughter to my parents and a sister to my siblings,
As a friend to each one of you and a student for the sake of my future,
As a girl who knows her worth and value and will never let anything shaken her from what she believes.
As a girl who for the moment, is appreciating all the love that she gets because she realizes that one day, she'll be gone from this world and even if that thought scares her, what makes her worried more is that the people around her didn't get the treatment that they deserves from her when she was still alive.

Just like between her and Allah, she's afraid that she might not has been a good slave to Him, she might has not worked hard enough on worshiping Him and carrying out her duties on being a good muslimah.

So I learn to relearn everything that I thought I already learnt, and know.

I'm going to learn to improve myself. Eventually, insya-Allah all the other missing pieces will fall into its places too.

Insya-Allah. Please dont forget to include me in your du'as. Together we shall strive this world with ease for the benefit of the Hereafter insya-Allah. Aaminnn.

I don't understand how this stupid, stupid contradiction can exist. 

I don't understand how all I ever feel for you is the opposite of what you say I'm showing.

How is it that I can spend years with pleasing you as my goal, and have that effort on every inch of my mind, and yet you claim that all I show is hatred.

How is it that I can't make you see that I live for your acceptance.

Why is it that I can never seem to make you sense my desperation for your approval of my existence.

How am I not able to make you see that you are all I live for.